Update: 7/5/05 (Otherwise known as "It's Suza and grapeofdeath<information>'s fault")
Title: "The Trick"
Choice Line: “Forgive me for not asking you for anything. I always do, you know me to be polite…”
Pairing: Frodo/Sam
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Some violence, though not much. Oh, and I think it stinks (it was only my second fic, VERY early stuff...) but I've been FORCED to do this! FORCED!!! AAAAUGH!!! (Okay, no, I just love these two PHF's. ;))
Genre: Romance, some humor
Synopsis: A tease goes too far for Sam's liking, and creates the perfect "turn around" for those giving his Master a hard time...
Author's Note: It sucks. Warned ya. LOL....
http://webzoom.freewebs.com/honey_and_vinegar/thetrick.doc
Update: 6/10/05
Title: "Lands Unknown"
Choice Line: "Frodo Baggins, we just watched you put on some floor show for a whole town’s worth of sex-crazed hobbits!!” -Merry
Pairing: Frodo/Sam, Frodo/entiretown (LOL)
Rating: R/NC-17 for implied actions
Warnings: COMPLETELY AU. A made up town bordering the Shire, using canon facts to develop it.
Genre: Erotica/Humor/Romance
Synopsis: Frodo's always been a curious lad, and he gets himself into trouble over it (or does he?); meanwhile Sam grows suspicious and worried, especially with the blooming feelings he holds to his master...
Author's note: This is an ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS storyline, lol. The idea of it came to me months ago, but I never wrote it out until last night. I just finished it this afternoon, ranging into the 50s for pages. I write quick when I'm on a roll. :)
http://webzoom.freewebs.com/honey_and_vinegar/sindlingtripsutoh.doc
Update, August 13th... the PREquel!!!!!!
Title: "Moonlighting"
Choice Line: “They prefer the term ‘girls’. But they’re well-abled lads, like yerself.”
Pairing: No one in particular... yet.
Rating: NC-17
Genre: WAY AU, erotica,
Synopsis: As you may have read above, our sweet lil' Frodo went all AU and became an exotic dancer in the AU town of Sindling... but how did he start out? Take a look...;)
http://webzoom.freewebs.com/honey_and_vinegar/sindlingsbegin.doc
Update: 6/7/05
Title: "The Wicked Lil' Gamgee"
Choice Line: “Who’s your da?? You tell me my lovely gardener… * smack! *
“Y-Y-YOU are, Mr. Frodo!!”
Pairing: Frodo/Sam
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: None
Genre: Humor/Romance
Synopsis: Frodo takes his "position" too far sometimes, and finally, Sam has had enough.
http://webzoom.freewebs.com/honey_and_vinegar/samtakescharge.doc
Title: "Tempt"
Pairing: Frodo/Sam
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: None
Genre: Humor/Poetry/Sexual Content
Synopsis: My husband needed my new e-mail and asked me to send me something from it to have in his inbox. He teases me sometimes about writing so much hobbity-goodness, so I sent him this. *Snort*
http://webzoom.freewebs.com/honey_and_vinegar/Tempt.doc
Title: "However Inappropriate"
Choice Line: “Are you sure it was over here? I see nothing but a huge rock shaped like two hobbits hiding under an elven cloak.”
Pairing: Frodo/Sam
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Swearing, 'bout it.
Genre: Humor/Sexual Content
Synopsis: Everyone watching the films sees the "slashability" of a lot of scenes. When Frodo and Sam hide themselves under the Elvish cloak, Frodo makes some thoroughly ridiculous suggestions...
http://webzoom.freewebs.com/honey_and_vinegar/Oh for shit.doc
Title: "Ted's Comfort" (UNFINISHED)
Choice Line: Now it was Ted’s turn to laugh as he turned to Frodo with a sly grin. “Yer a curious one.”
Pairing: Frodo/Ted Sandyman
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: None
Genre: Drunken erotica, lol...
Synopsis: Frodo yearns for Sam, gets drunk, Ted helps... well, sorta.
Author's Notes: It may not SEEM humorous to some, but I find it such... Frodo's wide-eyed innocence in this makes me giggle...
http://webzoom.freewebs.com/honey_and_vinegar/tedscomfort.doc
Title: "Drunken Disabilities" (UNFINISHED)
Choice Line: Sam swore it had started raining until he realized that no, nothing on his body felt any moisture; just his hands.
Pairing: Frodo/Sam
Rating: R
Warnings: None
Genre: Humor/Sexual situations
Synopsis: Using alcohol for humor is good... Frodo and Sam are trapped outside of Bag End, too drunk to get the door open. Completely ridiculous situations enfold.
http://webzoom.freewebs.com/honey_and_vinegar/drunkenlove.doc
Title: "Gone Fishin'" (FINISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Choice Line: “I wanted to see... to see what pain could feel like in the most private of places,”
Pairing: Frodo/Sam
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: None
Genre: Humor/Erotica
Synopsis: Frodo and Sam go fishing; using different catching methods Frodo snares a rather odd fish. Little do they know of its effects before Frodo eats it...
Author's note: This is TOTAL self-indulgence for me, LOL, I just love to imagine Frodo writhing in uncontrolled lust...also, I've just entered this is the livejournal community, "hobbit_smut". Hope they like it!!
http://webzoom.freewebs.com/honey_and_vinegar/froandsamfish.doc
6/29/05
LOL!! HAD to do a story like this sometime!!
Title: "Portals: Frodo's True Hell Revealed"
Choice Line: “IT’S YOU! FRODO!! And you look JUST like Elijah Wood!!!”
Pairing: Frodo/Sam, Merry/Pippin
Rating: NC-17
Warning: AU, o' course! Silly fun...
Genre: Humor/Parody/Romance
Synopsis: Poor hobbits! Sues have found 'the way' to Middle-Earth, but how?? And what will they do once they're there? And will Frodo ever have a wild romp 'twixt the sheets with his Sam again???
http://webzoom.freewebs.com/honey_and_vinegar/sueportals.doc
Update, 8/2/05
Title: "Portals: Frodo's True Hell Revealed (Part Two)"
Choice Line: “Nothin’ says we can’t go sneakin’ off to the wine cellar sometime soon,”
Pairing: Frodo/Sam, Merry/Pippin
Rating: PG-13
Warning: VERY AU!
Genre: Parody/Humor/Romance/Angst
Synopsis: Poor hobbits! Sues have found 'the way' to Middle-Earth, but how?? And what will they do once they're there? And will Frodo ever have a wild romp 'twixt the sheets with his Sam again???
http://webzoom.freewebs.com/honey_and_vinegar/portals2.doc
Update, September 14th... and it's SILLY.
Title: "Stupid Great Eye"
Choice Line: “I’lllllllll teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllll.”
Pairing: Wouldn't YOU like to know...???
Rating: R
Warning: VERY silly.
Genre: Humour, parody, silly-angst
Synopsis: Movie-verse Aragorn takes a peek into the palantir, but in MY version, things are a titch different.
http://webzoom.freewebs.com/honey_and_vinegar/stupidgreateye.doc
Inspired by the lj community "hobbit_smut" challenge, "My Birthday Suit Needs Pressing!" !
Done up for the lovely birthday lads (on the late side, I know... these things take TIME!! ;))
Title: "The Hobbit's New Clothes"
Choice Line: “Well, you smell right tasty!”
Rating: PG-13 to R
Pairing: Frodo/Sam
Warnings: None
Genre: Romance/Fluff/Humor
Synopsis: Blackberries. S'all... that I'm... sayin'...
http://webzoom.freewebs.com/honey_and_vinegar/birthdaysuits.doc